I really feel that i did not do alot for Genevieve.. I dont know what i am doing or what am i going to do next.. Feeling confused..
After talking to daddy... I suddenly felt tat i did not good or more enough for Genevieve.. She need alots of attention which i did not give it to her.. i did not pay alot of attention to her.. All i know is asking her to play herself and do it on her own.. I did not play wif her or do with her... I am a lousy Mom.. Can someone pls tell me how can i be a better mom...
I always though that tis pregnancy was the happiest baby.. Because when having Genevieve.. I was really in a very bad shape.. Alot of thoughts in my mind.. I kept feeling i let my parents down.. Because we never expected her to come so early and at the same time i was taking my part time degree.. Kept crying and feeling down.. I think is bad for baby.. Like whenever i see others babies.. they are so cheerful.. so happy.. But my Genevieve NO... I feel so bad.. So when having tis baby.. I told myself i have to be more cheerful and not to think so much..
It was so hard and i never achieved it.. I want to be happy for all of us.. But how can we do it.. I loved them but how to express?
My poor Genevieve.. My poor baby.. My poor hubby.. and My parents.. I dunno what to do next.. I loved you all.. Pls pardon me if i did not do enough..
Pls.. Pls.. Forgive me..
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