Regretted

Recently feels really bad.. I had never feels tis bad before.. I have told myself tat i wanted to stop breastfeeding liao.. cos i am veri tired and stressful.. and wanted to lessen the supply.. thus the frequency of expressing had lessen.. till now 2 times a day.. going nthing soon

I have regretted liao.. I donated alot to hospital which is good but now my storage can onli last him less than a week ba.. I dunno why i have tis feeling.. Alot of friens told me before.. they wanted to give also cannot.. cos no supply at all.. I have.. but why.. Tis had bother me alot..

I have told myself several times.. Its ok.. Jux give formula.. no worries.. but i jux cant get it off my mind.. making me more stress.. forcing myself to eat..

Seeing his face.. makes me wana give him more..

The next thing tat make me feels bad.. is towards my gal..Genevieve.. Feels so really bad tht i went back to work so fast.. and keep working.. I cant remember the times i had with her.. If i could turned back time.. I will take all my maternity leave before going back to work..

Lucas's Passport

Finally.. Lucas passport is here.. yay.. can bring them plane liao..



Thought of going NYC in the first place when the air tickets are cheap but Lucas passport is not here yet.. scare when we book liao... his passport still not yet arrived then die loh.. But any way we decided not to go..



Planned to go nearby place.. Corpus Christi instead.. go beach.. like Singapore no beach hor.. I wanted to go Missouri to see precious moment.. but onli hubby alone driving.. so after thinking.. no.. so beach here we come..

Lucas

Lucas had been drooling alot.. and seems to be EYEing on our food.. He will starred and starred at the food not us.. and starts to drool.. hahaaa.. so cute and funny loh.. His daddy and sister like to tease him.. and not to mention me la.. poor boy.. but not to worry.. he can eat cereal liao..

starring at the food and drool

naughty daddy teasing him

oldies

Haha.. dunno why i am so huay jiu today.. searching all those all songs and movies.. hahaa.. really misses it.. Search in youtube.. cause dunno other search engine...


Like Su Rui.. shou qian shou alot.. Its a super duper old song liao.. but to me.. its the most meaning song i ever heard.. esp coming to the end of the song.. I always cry no matter how many times i hear..

I doubt now anyone at my age know SuRui.. Mayb they know Rui En ba.. haha.. I also dunno how i came across her.. but i only heard tis song once.. and i'm in love with it.. so meaningful..


I also search for Jimmy Lim.. I wana find a show regarding a grandfather and grandson show but somehow i jux wouldnt find it.. Instead i found tis Vampire Family.. Its a very funny show.. and i think its the onli show that you can hear alot of F**K words ba.. esp chinese show.. Nice remix too..

Suddenly feels myself so old.. haha.. all tis think abt 10 over years liao.. Time flies.. really.. In the school days.. always think that the time is so slow.. but now.. OMG.. cant imgaine liao..

Moments of thought

Sudden a thoughts of feeling gushed upon me.. I felt so blessed with wat i have right now.. I have my hubby, Eric.. my beautiful daughter, Genevieve and a wonder little boy, Lucas.. Nothing can describe my happiness..

Although there is up and down.. but i am happy with wat i have right now.. and I LOVE IT.. I LOVE YOU ALL..

MY WONDERFUL FAMILY

hao quan

Finally had decide on my little Lucas chinese name.. Hew Hao Quan.. Although had counted his name after a few days he was born.. but i dun seem to like the names except tis.. The rest was too common or too old fashion.. eg.. mao la.. wei la... and kuo la.. sian..

They say Lucas short of jin.. but some of the names i also dun understand how it pop up.. I even tot of waiting to go back to Singapore and get another one to count.. but i think i will upset or anger someone.. so i forget the whole idea and choose tis name..

The name i had in mind is Ze Kai.. but cant be used.. so sad... After so much of consideration.. Finally made up my mind.. Hao Quan..

weird.. weird..

Recently have tis weird weird dreams.. dunno wat's wrong with me.. haiz..

Keep having weird dreams... not jux once or 2 times liao... Its seem so clear yet when i woke up.. i seem blurred abt it.. I cant stopped thinking about it.. and yet i am scared of the dreams.. Normally my nightmares is about chinese vampires.. JIANG SHI.. think sees too much when young..

These dreams seem normal to some but i hated it.. It abt me attenting funerals.. Some of it seem to be someone close to me.. some i dunno... Why??

Think tis nightmare is worst than dreaming of JIANG SHI..