Although have made up with hubby..

But feels that problems not yet solve..

It will come back again..

I love him more than anyone else..

But i dunno abt him..

I cant feel..

So sad when thinking about it..

I tried not to think about unhappy moments

Keep telling myself

I want to be happy..

Its really very hard..

All my requests are so simple

But yet all far from me..

A simple hugs

A simple kiss

A simple way of showing LOVE

好生气又难过。。
他完全不在乎我。
我的心情。 我的感受。。
我为什么生气，为什么难过。。
完全不理。。
认为是我自己在那里无理取闹。。
我喜欢这样吗？

Zoo

Nothing seems to go well for me this week..
But well.. lifes still have to move on

On Mother's day
Brought the whole family to Singapore zoo
Haahaa..
Crashes with Singapore General Election

Morning went to the polling station..
Afternoon, then we go to the zoo..

It was quite late as the zoo activities close at 5 plus..


Zoo..
Here we come..


Dear pushing the wagon
Genevieve sitting comfortably inside

Lucas slept only 10mins for the day..
So tired






Setting off..


Instructing the kids not to stand


Our first stop



Genevieve's favorite bird


Mommy bringing the baby
so cute..

so sweet..

elephant show..







my favorite sight

Did not manage to go far..


The kids world


The kids on the horse carriage





Genevieve first time on her own


Reward her with carousel
Good Job..
Genevieve

No kids can resist
The water park






Wow.. wat a day
Tired.. Tired..
But Its was real fun

He is still pretending nothing happen..
I can't just let it go..
I am still angry..
What i should do to let him that i am still unhappy..

He is really treating nothing had happen

But

There is no way i am going put it down

I am STILL angry..

Know him too well..

He was hoping that as days goes by

Distracting me..

I will forget..

No way..

We shall see..

In a bad bad bad mood..

Bad till i cant concentrate to do anything

Something had happen.. but to him

Nothing happen..

It just me throwing my temper for nothing

Or to him is a small matter

When i am angry.. In turn he threw his temper at me..

Like i am the one who is creating trouble..

Please..

I am angry..

You are in the wrong..

Why you are angry instead of me..

Should you be coaxing me..

To him.. everything is small matter..

I really don't understand

It's not the first time..

Mayb in the first place..

Its my fault..

Making things too easy for him

Too easy to give in liao..

Really pissed off..

The more i think..

The more i can't control myself

I hate myself..

Hate him even more..

For so many years..

Can't he put a little bit more effort for me..

I don't expect much..

abit more please..

To him..

who the hell am i??

I always told people..

No matter what hardship..

What nasty people or comments about me..

I always can take it..

But when things happen between the 2 of us..

I am a weakling..

I can't do anything

That's is why i can balance myself now..

Have to do somethings..

Today i posted this on my facebook..

'Dun feel loved or be love.. Not to say treasured by someone.. Mi jux a 没用的。。'

Thinking what his reaction when he see..
but doubt he will see..

Who am i to him..

Nobody.. I suppose..

I am very upset and disappointed..
Not to say angry..

Since last week.. i already asked him to go watch movie..
Our last movie is so long ago..

Wanting to spend some quality time with him..
He asked people along..
Nevermind if he intend to ask people along..
But in the end..
Somehow never manage to go

Today morning.. I told him..

'Let watch a movie tonight'

'OK' He said but tonight got midnight meh..

I told him tomo public holiday thus got midnight..
11.25pm
Jux in time after putting the kids to bed..

NOON..

I called him..
To top up petrol first if he wan to..
Then go to the movie as not to waste time..

He said nevermind..

OK..
Dinner..
His mobile rang..

Dunno who is on the other side of the line...
Only heard him mention..

'okok.. your go book firdt.. later i come..'

Firstly i tot is going movie..

But no..

He had forgotten..

I am angry.. Super duper angry..
But instead.. He ignored me..

Please..

Thinking back..

Just a few days ago..
He called me 没用的。。
Because i kept asking him make milk.. do this and that

! ! !
What he means...
Super duper pissed off
I do not want to bring up cos i dont want to quarrel

But he did tis to me..

WHO AM I TO HIM..

I think nobody ba..

I am very sad..
Very..
But does he understand..
Does he know..
No..

Cause he dont care..

Just not i still pinning hope
Hoping he will coax me..
aplogize for forgetting our date..
Later he will acc me out for movie..

No.. No.. No..

He did not..
He left without a word..

I dunno why am i hoping..

To him.. I'm just a nobody..
Even if i am somebody..
is a 没用的 somebody。。

Frankly.. I am very emotion Now..
But who can i tell..
Who can i turn to..
Nobody..

Really..
I dunno what i wan to do next
Ignore him?
I really do not want to talk to him..
But for the kids..
I have to..
I feel so inbalance..

Whatever i do..
For him..

I even placed him in front of the kids..

I felt that i have no place in his..