Back for almost a week liao and happy that the kids are adapting well.. Me.. have a lots of grumbles.. weather.. car.. services.. and even the place i stay.. I felt even more stressful.. wanting to let go everything.. but finds it very hard..
People are so strange.. Being born here. stayed here for 20 over years.. just went oversea for 2 years.. start to complain so much... WHY.. I know no matter how much i complain it will not change anything.. I have to accept it.. However the only thing i like it here.. is i can have own time and alone with hubby without worrying for the kids..
Tat's the only benefit.. haiz.. now i need to look for school and also job.. I really cant bear to put my girl in child care.. but the pricing make not much diff.. beside PAP la. I also dun wan to leave Lucas.. but i have to face the reality.. I cant afford not to work.. expenses are high..
Sometimes I jus wan to isolate myself.. go to a far far away land jux e 4 of us.. I think i looked like an idiot trying to blend into my family and friends.. I am trying to get close and communicate but i dunno why.. I feels i am too fake.. Worst sometimes i jux wan to be alone away from hubby and kids.. OMG.. I am being too negative... I need to be more positive..
